Me and Leanne went out last Friday. I think things went pretty well. I had called her during the week to make a plan for Saturday night but she said she wasn’t sure. I could hear a lot of yelling and shit in the background and she yelled at someone to shut the fuck up and something about Phil coming around. I hope that’s not happening or going to be a problem. I’m no pussy or anything but I don’t need a lot of extra drama in my life. I get enough of that from Sherri and my mom. So, she called me back and said her mom could watch the baby Friday night so we could go out then. Her mom was going to Foxwoods Saturday with her boyfriend so it wouldn’t work that night.

So, I had to choose a place to go. On Thursday night I was with the Crew (Da Crew, baby! In da House!) and they had some ideas. Sul said a movie always works pretty well but then Sully was like everybody does that so why not a classy place for dinner? Malph was like, “Why don’t you take her to O’Lindy’s and do bowling?” What a retard. That would be great if we were in the 8th grade. Good old Malph; always chimin’ in.

The dinner idea I liked. Not some place I always go with my boyz or my mom, like South Side. Some place kinda different. Now, I’m no growmand, but I sometimes enjoy the finer things in life. Sometimes me and the family go up to Ipswich on the North shore there. It’s a bit exotic, leaving the South shore and heading up there, North shore you know, and the boyz give me some shit about it but you gotta stretch your wings sometimes. Plus they got some wicked cool fuckin’ arcades at Hampton Beach.

Also, I mean I love my boyz; I am down for the Da Crew (Da Crew baby! Ya heard?). But, being out with a lady, I don’t really want them around right away. They’ll give me some shit and it’s all in fun but sometimes it can go a bit too far. Sully and Big Sul and Dunnie are always cool. They might come over and gimme a little shit about losing my Sox hat at the game a few years ago but they know how to act. One time though, Dickie Broons is all drunk at Pat Flanagan’s and says, “Oh shit, take it easy Matty, you don’t want another DUI!” Right in front of my date! (Turns out she had a couple as well. Plus an assault charge. But that is another story.) I like to avoid douches like Dickie and Malph when I’m first wooing a lady.

So, I hit on a great idea: Bertucci’s! That is a classy place. They serve wine and entrees and shit like that. They got those fancy casserole dishes and all that. Plus the restaurant is just nice. It’s not too loud but the bar has some flat screen TVs so you can watch a game if that’s what you’re into. Whatever the lady wants.

I picked her up at her mom’s place. It’s an apartment in Springfield Gardens, right off Route 1. I had to go around to another entrance because the cops were arresting someone. There’s always some drug arrest or some fight or domestic shit going on there. Dunnie and his cousin Ritchie used to have a place there so I been there a bunch of times. Two of their neighbors were busted for selling drugs and shit right out of the apartment. Dunnie’s lucky cuz he was selling weed out of his place (he had the fuckin’ bomb Sega system, bro) but he’s pretty smart with that shit. Except for the time he got pulled over for a DUI and had a half a Z on the front seat next to him. All that got worked out though. Pubic Defenda Baby!

She asked me to call her when I got there, so I did and she said she would come out. So, I waited for a couple of minutes and then out she came. She yelled something back into the apartment and then slammed the door. She looked good: tight, white jeans, good sweater and green Crocs. I had by dark blue jeans, that nice Ecko long sleeve I got at Macy’s on sale, white Red Sox hat that I keep pristine and the gold necklace that Sherri got me for my birthday last year. I got her one that says her name: SHERRI. Leanne had one on too. It says: LEANNE.
As soon as she got in the car she started in on her asshole baby daddy. That guy sounds like a huge dick.

She was like, “So Con Ed calls my ma and tells her that the fuckin’ bill from like three months ago wasn’t paid and that they are sending her information to a credit agency if it doesn’t get paid so she’s wicked fuckin’ pissed because, you know, it was for the apartment that me and shithead were sharing so he shoulda paid it. But he didn’t, so know it’s like my ma’s on the hook for it. It’s like a 180 dollas and then she’s all talkin’ about the money I owe her and shit.”

I know that deal. I told her, you know, family can be tough. You know, the walk of a thousand miles starts with one foot step. I told her that. She got it.
She was like, “Yeah, like with me it’s all about my kid. I gotta be a good mom. You know, like role model an shit. It’s just that her dad is such an asshole and my mom is always on me about shit and…..”

Her phone beeped and she was like, “It’s Phil, texting me.” I could tell it was a problem because she rolled her eyes. “He’s like, “Where are you? You ma said you went out. Where?”” She was reading this to me out loud.
I told her, “Just ignore it. Fuck that guy.”
She was like, “This is what I texted him: Eenie, meenie, miney mo; That is somethin’ you don’t need to know!”
That’s the shit.

Leanne has a lot of good qualities. She asked if she could smoke in my car, so she is considerate. When she sent back her pasta at Bertucci’s she was pretty nice about it. And she texted her mom and her friend Cheryl and other folks a lot during dinner so I know she likes to stay in touch with people, which is good. We took a selfie and she put right up on Facebook! That is definitely a sign of things to come.
She has plans for the future too, which is really important. She’s gonna enroll in cosmetology school next fall which, by the looks of her make-up, she’ll be really good at. You can tell when someone has a knack for something. She has all these selfies on Facebook and Instagram with all these shots of herself in the mirror. She showed me them on her phone. And she and Cheryl did this really cool YouTube video of them dancing to a Beyonce song. They were really good! I told her that.
She was like, “I know, right?”

She said that she and Cheryl are trying to put their modeling and dancing stuff on YouTube because that’s how Justin Beiber got his start and look what happened.
So, I think the date went pretty well. We been texting this whole week and we’re probably gonna watch the Pats pre-season game at South Side on Thursday. She can meet my boyz. It’s good though cuz she knows Dunnie and Brockie (Mike Dale. He lived in Braintree til the 8th grade and then moved to Brockton after his parents got divorced and his mom went on Section 8 housing. He lives in Randolph now but we still him Brockie. He’s cool as shit, kid.) So she knows those guys a bit so it should be cool.

When I dropped her off I got a little kiss, bit of a grab, nothin’ major. She not a slut. And she’s got her kid to think about. The only downside was that the asshole Phil texted her again. I told Big Sul and The Smazz about it. (Doug Shibinski: He’ll Smazz you the fuck out, kid!). They said we’d fuck his shit up if it came to that. Phil Callulo betta watch his ass cuz he don’t want Da Crew on his ass (Da Crew baby! Wreck yo world, kid!)
The only thing that’s got me in a bit of a dilemma is that Leanne texted me that she needs like $60 for the phone bill. Now, I’m not lookin’ to get played like a Pooh-Butt but she needs the phone to be on for her kid and Phil ain’t comin’ up with shit. So, I said no problem. The thing is though, I don’t want that dick textin’ her on a phone I’m payin’ for! Fuck that shit.
I ain’t the one!